When it rains it pours

I've been sick since Thursday. I can't seem to turn a corner. My oncologist wants to start treatments ASAP, but the nurse was going to send me info on treatment and I still haven't received it. I would really like to read about it before I do it.

I go tomorrow for the big dye test to see if I have any tumors on any other organs. It is a two day tests, so I'll be busy. Thank goodness Gary is taking me because I can't drive.

Dr. Bala is weaning me off my steroids, they are for pain. Well, last night I woke up in the most terrible pain I've been in. It was like I had had surgery without any pain medication. It was my liver and that is one reason she wants to start treatment. I took have a steriod this morning and I'm feeling some better today, but I'm still in my gown. I'm a pro at resting.

Then, last night Gary opens the bedroom windows and turns on the fan. I am thinking, it must be cooler. This morning he tells me the AC went out last night. We need a new unit any way, but as far as time issues are concerned, another time would be better, but all we can do is replace it. Thank goodness we can.

I'll report to you tomorrow on my test. Should be interesting.

Susan

List of talents

I woke up today going to eat healthy. I ate an egg and wheat toast. Good for me. Before I knew it, I was feeling sick. I tried to not get sick, but I did. I had done this before, and went to work, so I thought the rest of the day would be like before. I'm getting very close to school and I feel like I'm going to get sick again. I'm looking for a place to pull over and I can't find a place, and I still feel sick. I always have something in my car to drink, and I have a big glass. Well, new on my list of talents is: you can throw up while you are driving. Thank goodness it is bile. I've done a lot of weird things in my life, but this is on the top list. When I got to school, I threw up again. This was a first time to throw up 3 times. I shouldn't have even gone to school, but I guess it is my work ethic. I did end up going home and have been resting all day. IAfter my nap I drank some Ginger Ale and threw up again. Four times today. Scarey!!!

I called Dr. Bala's office and they will call me tomorrow. I also called MDAnderson and my case worker was out too. She is supposed to be in tomorrow. I will follow up tomorrow.

Thank you for the food again, so my boys can eat. There's no way that I can cook right now. The food is a lifesafer. Thank you for your prayers and cards.

Third Week

The first doctor I saw today was my oncologist, Dr. Bala. She is getting very impatient with the dye coming from Europe. She is wanting to get started on my shots soon. I'm getting impatient with MDAnderson, but I will be calling tomorrow until I get an answer. My bone scan came back negative which is good. I asked her why some people have surgery and some shots. I have too many lesions on my liver but we will be treating my liver later with radiation. That's the plan right now.

Then I saw a new PCP, Dr. Pegamy in the same building. Dr. Bala had tested my blood sugar and it was high so she's making me see a PCP. I'm glad she pushed it because he did a urine test and I have glucose in my urine. It's another side effect from my pancreas but I'll do anything to feel better. I've had days where I couldn't drink enough liquids. I'd have the sweats day or night, and I would be shakey. He gave me some pills to help me and I will go to classes to help me with my new meter and education to eat correctly.

So, basically I had good and a little bad news. My prayer is still for God to remove this cancer from my body. I want my faith to be renewed everyday to believe that He will take it away. Thank you for your prayers, thoughts and especially the food for my family.

Time off

I know I haven't posted anything in several days. I've been tired from Teacher Appreciation Week, book fair and all the excitement from the kids. My parents we extremely generous and I cannot thank them enough.

This weekend has not been my best. I hardly ever throw up at night but Saturday evening I thought I would eat a salad for fiber. Well, what I'm learning about my body is when it doesn't want something it gets rid of it. I've eaten so much salad this week, but not on Saturday.

Then I get up this morning, and I take my meds with milk, just like they tell me to do. I think what I did wrong when I was making my breakfast, frozen french toast, I bent over to look in my fridge and that's when I began to feel bad. Threw up my milk and pills. Go figure. I'm calling the nurse tomorrow and let her know what is going on.

I did feel bad this AM, but we had made plans to go to San Antonio to eat at Pappasitos (my favorite). I did feel better getting out of the house and getting my mind off of myself. We did a little shopping but just enjoying being with my whole family. My kids and husband are wonderful.

I did do something that I hardly do, but even when I'm sick I milk it dry. I had left my son-in-laws present in the car and Gary and I were playing on who was going to go get it. He asked me why I wasn't going to go get it and I told him: I have cancer. I thought Krishna (son-in-law) was going to die. But you have to have a sense of humor. Gary, the gentlemen got the present for me.

Came home, rested and watched Amazing Race. Wonderful show. I wanted my Cowboys to win so bad.

Another busy week at school, and I really need to focus on reviews and testing.

See you later.

Susan

Two Weeks

Today I had my bone scan. My husband took me and I'm so glad he did. After they injected me with the dye we walked out of the building and I'm thinking: I can't believe this is happening to me. At times, I'm still in shock.

I talked to the radiologist about the dye. There are only five nuclear reactors in the world. One is in Canada, but it's been shut down for a year. The others are in Europe and we are still having trouble getting the isotope for the dye. My appt. was for Friday, but they called and wanted me to come in before it spoiled.

I knew it was going to be hot today, so I wore long shorts to school. It was only 98 degrees in Marble Falls. I had a little boy, tell me I looked like I was going to go play tennis. I told him I wish I was going to play tennis, but I was going to the doctor.

I'm praying now that they do not find any tumors on my bones. The kind of cancer I have is very, very rare. It is called a neuroendocrine tumor which is on my pancreas. On one website that I read, it said that only 100 people in the US have this kind of cancer. I go in for one more tests with the isotopes from Europe, which is scheduled May 17 & 18. But my doctor is really creative and thinks of more tests all the time. Doesn't bother me.

I continue to thank you for your prayers and cards.

Susan

Mrs. Grouchy

Since my infusion for my calcium, each day is getting better. I'm not nearly as tired and I'm not shakey. I just want this to last.

This week is Teacher Appreciation Week. The kids love to make their teachers happy. I received flowers and poems today. I had a student tell me today that I had been grouchy. I said, well, I really don't doubt it, I will try to do better. Well, he wanted to do some filing for me this afternoon, and it was so funny, because he looked at me and said, those kids will just not get quiet. I can't concentrate on what I'm supposed to do for you. He said, now I know why you get grouchy. Kids are so funny!!!

We are watching "Dancing with the Stars" and I love to show off. I went to another room and came back in dancing. It's been months since I felt like doing that. Please pray that this lasts.

I go see the vampires tomorrow, then heading to school.

Going back to 1st day

As you know I found out April 21 that I had cancer and what a shock it was to me. I had had my liver biopsy that Monday and when you have a biopsy you know something pretty serious is happening. So, my kids and husband were with me when I got my news. To see the tears in their eyes nearly killed me. I knew it was serious before we even heard the news. But my wonderful Dr. Bala explained everything so thoroughly that it really calmed them down. We knew we had so much info to get to know where the cancer originated. But deep down, I already knew. When I went out into the waiting room where everyone was waiting for me, it seemed like everyone was still in shock.

Emily Faggard, was in the building going to her dermatologist and asked if she could come up with us. I said yes, of course, you are part of my family. She took it real hard and told my team that evening.

Here comes the hardest part: I had to tell my parents that their daughter has cancer. Cancer is on both sides of my family and a lot of you know that my Mother had a colostomy in 1978. I learned from her years ago that you can't give up and your attitude can make or break you. My dad was working that night, and I wanted to tell them together, but my mom new I had a doctor's appt. She kept calling and I would ignore it. Finally, I took her call. It was the hardest thing I've ever done telling her that I had cancer. She took it so hard. She was upset and crying. The news was still new to me, but it killed me that she was so upset. Then I called my dad when I knew he was going to be home. I caught him in the drive way of his home. He took it better, but still telling my dad that I had cancer, nearly killed me. He was very encouraging and told me he had learned since he retired that "bad things happen to good people." That he knew men that were so close to God, but things still happened to them. I told him to go into the house and take care of Mother. I know it was hard for both of them, but I think since they have gone to the doctor with me and have seen me this weekend, that they feel much better.

Then, my son Travis was planning to move to California on May 6. I absolutely hate to be the cause of plans being changed. So, I told him your plans are not cancelled, just postponed. It will happen. I'm a big girl and can do this. My daughter, Jennifer lives in San Antonio and teaches, so if I need any one, she can be here.

I have felt very good today, so maybe the infusion for my calcium is kicking in.

I've had several people tell me that they cannot comment. Do any of you have any suggestions. I've told people to log in and they say they are, but if you have any suggestions, please let us know.

Nona Fox, thank you for the brisket, potato salad, beans and banana pudding. You outdid yourself!!!