Hi everyone,

I went to Houston this past week and the news I received was not great, but I always want everything to be good. The tumor on my pancreas had grown a cm and on my liver some tumors had shrunk, but some had grown. Of course, I was so disappointed. Unfortunately, this is the way this story is going to probably play out. Sometimes, I will have good news, then the next, not so good news. My doctor had to remind me that this cancer is not curable and I know, but the cancer and my personality do not go together. When you know you have an incurable cancer, it is so hard to be up and optimistic all of the time. The bad part is what it does to my family. They try to be "up" for me but I know that it is so hard for them when I receive news like this. It just seemed like this last visit to Houston brought me back to reality that this cancer is serious and I have absolutely no control. So, I have to rely on my faith in God and that He will take care of me and my family and we will all come out of this being stronger people.

Yesterday, January 14, I went to chemo. They give me two different drugs that make me sleep and to keep down side effects. The side effect is that the chemo will make my legs jump uncontrollably. So, if the meds they have given me don't take effect, I ask them for more. If works immediately. This weather also makes me sleep more. I slept yesterday afternoon into the evening, went to bed about 10 and slept until 7. I'm ready to hit the road. I'm really hungry then I really need to go to Austin and buy brown shoes. I can only wear one pair that I have right now due to my neuropathy. Right now I'm taking Lyrica and I take a lot of it. I'm just praying that I do as well these two weeks as I did the last two weeks. I have chemo again on the 28th before I go to MDAnderson. My mom has been here since Dec. 23 and will go home Jan. 15. She didn't intend to stay so long, but it was been wonderful.

Please continue your prayers. I believe in the chemo 10%, but prayers 90%. Prayer is what is getting me through this. When I'm doing well, my family does well.

Have a great week!!! Thinking about all of you.

Susan