Hi everyone,

I went to Houston this past week and the news I received was not great, but I always want everything to be good. The tumor on my pancreas had grown a cm and on my liver some tumors had shrunk, but some had grown. Of course, I was so disappointed. Unfortunately, this is the way this story is going to probably play out. Sometimes, I will have good news, then the next, not so good news. My doctor had to remind me that this cancer is not curable and I know, but the cancer and my personality do not go together. When you know you have an incurable cancer, it is so hard to be up and optimistic all of the time. The bad part is what it does to my family. They try to be "up" for me but I know that it is so hard for them when I receive news like this. It just seemed like this last visit to Houston brought me back to reality that this cancer is serious and I have absolutely no control. So, I have to rely on my faith in God and that He will take care of me and my family and we will all come out of this being stronger people.

Yesterday, January 14, I went to chemo. They give me two different drugs that make me sleep and to keep down side effects. The side effect is that the chemo will make my legs jump uncontrollably. So, if the meds they have given me don't take effect, I ask them for more. If works immediately. This weather also makes me sleep more. I slept yesterday afternoon into the evening, went to bed about 10 and slept until 7. I'm ready to hit the road. I'm really hungry then I really need to go to Austin and buy brown shoes. I can only wear one pair that I have right now due to my neuropathy. Right now I'm taking Lyrica and I take a lot of it. I'm just praying that I do as well these two weeks as I did the last two weeks. I have chemo again on the 28th before I go to MDAnderson. My mom has been here since Dec. 23 and will go home Jan. 15. She didn't intend to stay so long, but it was been wonderful.

Please continue your prayers. I believe in the chemo 10%, but prayers 90%. Prayer is what is getting me through this. When I'm doing well, my family does well.

Have a great week!!! Thinking about all of you.

Susan

Day by Day

On December 20th, Travis and I were meeting Jennifer in San Antonio to do some last minute Christmas shopping. We had gone to a couple of stores, and the last store was Target. As I was paying out I was having a terrible time putting in my pin number. I looked at the guy and told him I was going to faint. Jennifer was right behind me to catch me as I hit my chin and cheek on the counter. Jennifer said I left make up on the counter. I wasn't out long, but was having a very difficult time. It happened very much like the last two times that I have done this. After I black out, I throw up. My blook pressure goes way, way down and I can't talk. Thank goodness my kids were with me and know my medical history better than they know their own. Travis called paramedics and I spent the next 24 hrs in the hospital getting magnesium and potassium. I had just had chemo on the 17th and my body was drained. Of course spending 24 hrs in the hospital messed up my week, but everything turned out fine.

We had a wonderful Christmas as always. This one just seemed more special. Gary did most of our shopping this year (he's been holding out on me). When I would go to chemo, I told him what we needed and he would go to Macy's, because he knew where everything was in the home department. He did a great job and I'm very proud of him.

I had chemo yesterday (30th) and Jennifer and my mom took me. They went out to do a little shopping at Charming Charlies. I go in another two weeks. Hopefully my levels this time will be stable and stay that way.

This is the last day of 2010 and I feel very fortunate to be here. I know I've got a huge fight ahead of me, but I would like to be my doctor's star patient. That comes with a lot of faith and prayer. I wish only the best for everyone this coming year of 2011. Happy New Year!!!!

Susan Hall

The month of November has been extremely busy for me. I had a visit to MDAnderson, which I received a good report, then my birthday which lasted a week, then I had a cousin from California visit me for a week. Now it is time for Thanksgiving. We are cooking at home, but everyone is cooking something to contribute to the meal.

I had chemo last week and I could really tell a difference. I had taken a chemo vacation for two weeks then I had chemo. I could feel it draining my body. I know it is helping me, but it is so hard with the side effects.

This is wishing everyone a Happy Thanksgiving and eat lots of turkey!!!

Susan

Visit to MDAnderson

My mom, dad, and Jennifer went to MDAnderson with me for a check up. Every time I go it is for a blood work up and a CT scan of the liver and abdomen. When we saw Dr. Yao, he was in a great mood which is an indicator of good news. He showed us pictures on the computer of my liver when I first went to him and now. The comparisons between June and November of my liver was astounding. The new chemo has really helped my liver and the cancer is still there but is shrinking a lot. It is really scary to see how little control we have over our bodies and how cancer can eat up your organs. I'm very grateful for my doctor and the chemo. But more, I'm grateful for all the prayers that have been sent to God for my recovery. I give all the glory to God for how I'm feeling these days. I feel great, but still get tired. My cousin, Barbara from California is visiting me for my birthday and I am really enjoying her so much. We are both close to our families and have so much in common. We are having my birthday party this weekend at some cabins in Castell near Llano. It is going to be a lot of fun and the weather men say Saturday is going to be beautiful, but Sunday it will be cold. Good timing. Again, thank you for your prayers because that is what is helping me the most. Have a good day.

Susan

Dear Friends,

Yesterday, I had chemo and all went well. It's always the after effects that get me and unfortunately I don't remember this one. Travis called me before we got home and I told him I'd call him later. I did, but have no
memory of it and got mad at him for something. This morning I could not find my phone and finally found it on Travis's bed. I don't remember being in there at all. I remember watching TV and that's about all I remember. I don't even know if I ate anything last night.

Fortunately, I feel great today. I'm going to San Antonio tomorrow to see Jennifer. We are going to LaConterra and if I get tired I can always sit down. I will wear my new wig for her. It is amazing how differently you are treated when people know you have cancer. When I wear my wig people aren't for sure. But when I just wear a scarf people are super nice to you and usually give you special treatment. I find that very interesting.
Don't know much, just trying to do better on my blog.

See you soon.
Susan

Dear Friends,
Everything is going well. Whenever you do chemo, there is always side effects. Even though I am doing chemo one day a week, the side effect is my bones hurting. The pain medicine makes me itch and it is hard to get your rest when you are hurting and itching.

I've had two friends that just found out about my cancer that I used to work with. I do miss working with my friends, but I don't have time to work. Like today, I go to the doctor for a shot for my white blood count. That will take half a day. My chemo day is Thursday. I'm still chasing my potassium and magnesium. I am trying to be faithful in taking all of my medicine when I should.

One exciting thing I did over the weekend was get a wig. I tried on a lot of them before I picked one. My mistake was taking Travis and
Gary with me. But I talked to Gary before we went in and told him to not say I looked good in everything. He has a good eye with color and we finally found one that looked like me.

Please keep me in your prayers and thoughts. I go to MDAnderson on my birthday, November 8-9. I will see if this chemo has helped.

See you later.

Susan