Hi everyone,

I went to Houston this past week and the news I received was not great, but I always want everything to be good. The tumor on my pancreas had grown a cm and on my liver some tumors had shrunk, but some had grown. Of course, I was so disappointed. Unfortunately, this is the way this story is going to probably play out. Sometimes, I will have good news, then the next, not so good news. My doctor had to remind me that this cancer is not curable and I know, but the cancer and my personality do not go together. When you know you have an incurable cancer, it is so hard to be up and optimistic all of the time. The bad part is what it does to my family. They try to be "up" for me but I know that it is so hard for them when I receive news like this. It just seemed like this last visit to Houston brought me back to reality that this cancer is serious and I have absolutely no control. So, I have to rely on my faith in God and that He will take care of me and my family and we will all come out of this being stronger people.

Yesterday, January 14, I went to chemo. They give me two different drugs that make me sleep and to keep down side effects. The side effect is that the chemo will make my legs jump uncontrollably. So, if the meds they have given me don't take effect, I ask them for more. If works immediately. This weather also makes me sleep more. I slept yesterday afternoon into the evening, went to bed about 10 and slept until 7. I'm ready to hit the road. I'm really hungry then I really need to go to Austin and buy brown shoes. I can only wear one pair that I have right now due to my neuropathy. Right now I'm taking Lyrica and I take a lot of it. I'm just praying that I do as well these two weeks as I did the last two weeks. I have chemo again on the 28th before I go to MDAnderson. My mom has been here since Dec. 23 and will go home Jan. 15. She didn't intend to stay so long, but it was been wonderful.

Please continue your prayers. I believe in the chemo 10%, but prayers 90%. Prayer is what is getting me through this. When I'm doing well, my family does well.

Have a great week!!! Thinking about all of you.

Susan

Day by Day

On December 20th, Travis and I were meeting Jennifer in San Antonio to do some last minute Christmas shopping. We had gone to a couple of stores, and the last store was Target. As I was paying out I was having a terrible time putting in my pin number. I looked at the guy and told him I was going to faint. Jennifer was right behind me to catch me as I hit my chin and cheek on the counter. Jennifer said I left make up on the counter. I wasn't out long, but was having a very difficult time. It happened very much like the last two times that I have done this. After I black out, I throw up. My blook pressure goes way, way down and I can't talk. Thank goodness my kids were with me and know my medical history better than they know their own. Travis called paramedics and I spent the next 24 hrs in the hospital getting magnesium and potassium. I had just had chemo on the 17th and my body was drained. Of course spending 24 hrs in the hospital messed up my week, but everything turned out fine.

We had a wonderful Christmas as always. This one just seemed more special. Gary did most of our shopping this year (he's been holding out on me). When I would go to chemo, I told him what we needed and he would go to Macy's, because he knew where everything was in the home department. He did a great job and I'm very proud of him.

I had chemo yesterday (30th) and Jennifer and my mom took me. They went out to do a little shopping at Charming Charlies. I go in another two weeks. Hopefully my levels this time will be stable and stay that way.

This is the last day of 2010 and I feel very fortunate to be here. I know I've got a huge fight ahead of me, but I would like to be my doctor's star patient. That comes with a lot of faith and prayer. I wish only the best for everyone this coming year of 2011. Happy New Year!!!!

Susan Hall

The month of November has been extremely busy for me. I had a visit to MDAnderson, which I received a good report, then my birthday which lasted a week, then I had a cousin from California visit me for a week. Now it is time for Thanksgiving. We are cooking at home, but everyone is cooking something to contribute to the meal.

I had chemo last week and I could really tell a difference. I had taken a chemo vacation for two weeks then I had chemo. I could feel it draining my body. I know it is helping me, but it is so hard with the side effects.

This is wishing everyone a Happy Thanksgiving and eat lots of turkey!!!

Susan

Visit to MDAnderson

My mom, dad, and Jennifer went to MDAnderson with me for a check up. Every time I go it is for a blood work up and a CT scan of the liver and abdomen. When we saw Dr. Yao, he was in a great mood which is an indicator of good news. He showed us pictures on the computer of my liver when I first went to him and now. The comparisons between June and November of my liver was astounding. The new chemo has really helped my liver and the cancer is still there but is shrinking a lot. It is really scary to see how little control we have over our bodies and how cancer can eat up your organs. I'm very grateful for my doctor and the chemo. But more, I'm grateful for all the prayers that have been sent to God for my recovery. I give all the glory to God for how I'm feeling these days. I feel great, but still get tired. My cousin, Barbara from California is visiting me for my birthday and I am really enjoying her so much. We are both close to our families and have so much in common. We are having my birthday party this weekend at some cabins in Castell near Llano. It is going to be a lot of fun and the weather men say Saturday is going to be beautiful, but Sunday it will be cold. Good timing. Again, thank you for your prayers because that is what is helping me the most. Have a good day.

Susan

Dear Friends,

Yesterday, I had chemo and all went well. It's always the after effects that get me and unfortunately I don't remember this one. Travis called me before we got home and I told him I'd call him later. I did, but have no
memory of it and got mad at him for something. This morning I could not find my phone and finally found it on Travis's bed. I don't remember being in there at all. I remember watching TV and that's about all I remember. I don't even know if I ate anything last night.

Fortunately, I feel great today. I'm going to San Antonio tomorrow to see Jennifer. We are going to LaConterra and if I get tired I can always sit down. I will wear my new wig for her. It is amazing how differently you are treated when people know you have cancer. When I wear my wig people aren't for sure. But when I just wear a scarf people are super nice to you and usually give you special treatment. I find that very interesting.
Don't know much, just trying to do better on my blog.

See you soon.
Susan

Dear Friends,
Everything is going well. Whenever you do chemo, there is always side effects. Even though I am doing chemo one day a week, the side effect is my bones hurting. The pain medicine makes me itch and it is hard to get your rest when you are hurting and itching.

I've had two friends that just found out about my cancer that I used to work with. I do miss working with my friends, but I don't have time to work. Like today, I go to the doctor for a shot for my white blood count. That will take half a day. My chemo day is Thursday. I'm still chasing my potassium and magnesium. I am trying to be faithful in taking all of my medicine when I should.

One exciting thing I did over the weekend was get a wig. I tried on a lot of them before I picked one. My mistake was taking Travis and
Gary with me. But I talked to Gary before we went in and told him to not say I looked good in everything. He has a good eye with color and we finally found one that looked like me.

Please keep me in your prayers and thoughts. I go to MDAnderson on my birthday, November 8-9. I will see if this chemo has helped.

See you later.

Susan

First Great Weekend

I had my first new round of chemo last Friday. It took longer for the first time so they could see if I was going to have a reaction to the new chemo. My dad from Odessa came down to take me. Once again, I am so blessed to have my parents take care of me so Gary and Travis can work. Unfortunately, I did have a reaction. My left side started twitching, like my arm and leg. Once they gave me meds to stop it, I was asleep for hours. I scared my dad so bad because I looked so bad. I'm glad no one was around taking pictures because I'm sure my head was hanging down with my mouth wide open. When I have chemo, my memory is terrible. I can't remember names, and I couldn't write in my date book when I was leaving. I WAS in bad shape. Thank goodness Gary left work a little early and came by to see how I was doing. I think that relieved my dad.

The next day, Saturday and Sunday, I have never felt so good. Especially since December. When I began feeling so bad in January, I would rest and try to recuperate on the weekends so I would feel like working the next week. It did not work.

On Sunday I felt like going to church for the first time in months, went to Lampasas so I could see where Travis was living, went out to eat, and did a little grocery shopping. The shopping did me in, I was tired. Gary did go with me to the grocery store so I wasn't at the store by myself. I usually have a babysitter with me.

I'm sure the chemo is helping, but every time I see people out around town, they tell me that they are praying for me. The last chemo I had, I thought the side effects were going to kill me. My attitude was horrible. I give God the glory to everyone who is praying for me and my family. The next time I go to MDAnderson is on my birthday, Nov. 8. I'm praying for GREAT news.

Thanks again for your cards, letters, thoughts and prayers. Have a great week.

Susan Hall

Since late August and first of September I've had a rough time with the side effects from chemo. The chemo was going to cure me or kill me. I would go three days for chemo every three weeks and my body couldn't keep up. My electrolytes, magnesium and potasium were very low. I was even in the hospital to get infusions. The only good thing was I got a unit of blood. The longer I was in the hospital the worse I felt. I was a HORRIBLE patient. I thought I would have my doctor, but they have hospitalists now, which I don't like.

I did go to MDAnderson last week and received a good report. When I go, I get a blood test, then I go for a scan of my abdomen, which you have to wait for hours. They have a huge waiting room and it is absolutely full everytime I go. Then, I had a day off. We went to the Cheesecake Factory and mall which was fun. I walked a lot for me. In fact, I was sore. My doctor, Dr. YAO looked at my blood test and had me go to the emergency room for an infusion of magnesium. This was before the Cheesecake factory. We didn't get home until 3;30 am. Very tired. I fell into bed. We stayed at the Marriot and they have great beds. The next day we saw Dr. Yao and he said my tumors in my liver are shrinking. He never says how much, but at least they are not growing. He did change my chemo to one day a week. I will have two weeks off before I start again. I was super excited about having the time off. I've just got to have my body keep up with the chemo.

I even went to a Bible study at our church on Wednesday and it was so nice to go somewhere besides a doctor. I was very tired afterwards, but came home and took a nap.

My parents are home and are taking care of themselves by going to their doctors and keeping up with their appointments.

Thank you for your cards, thoughts and prayers.
Susan

blood pressure

Last week was very interesting. There are so many side effects with chemo that I can't even keep up with them. The oncologist in Austin checks my blood every week to make sure that my white blood count is high and not low then they check calcium and magnesium. I was having so many problems with dizziness, weakness, and energy. It always felt like I was light headed and going to faint. Well, that meant that my magnesium was super low.

When I went in Monday they were going to get blood from my new port. The thing was I was sitting down and was blacking out. I didn't even know they got blood. Also my blood pressure was super low. When I stood up my blood pressure went even lower. They wanted me to sit in a wheel chair, but I was unresponsive. When I did sit down, unfortunately, I threw up. By this time, they had brought Travis and my mom in. They asked Travis if this was normal and he said NO Way. After being evaluated, I was given an IV of fluids.

I had to go the next day to get an IV of magnesium. It was an extremely busy week, but if that's what it takes to keep on chemo schedule, I guess I will do it. I felt better after the fluids and magnesium. These are just some of the side effects of chemo.

I go tomorrow for a doctor visit and they will check my blood to see if I'm ok for chemo. If everything is ok with my blood, I will do chemo. I'm very fortunate that the chemo does not hurt, it's just the side effects that I do not like.

My mom has been here taking care of me and making sure everything is running like it should. Please pray for my parents. They never dreamed that they would be taking care of me like this. They have seen me in different stages or different side effects. I've only been sick three times this two weeks but they don't like to see it. My dad will come to MF and take me to chemo. What would I do without them?

Everyone: take care and see you around.
Susan

I know it has been a long time since I wrote on my blog. A lot has happened since the last time I wrote. When I went to MDAnderson in July, my white blood count was low, so I didn't get to do my chemo. I had to take shots for a week to get built back up. So, I decided that with traveling, trying to work with schedules, I would do my treatments in Austin. I thought it would be easier on everyone. My main Dr. is still Dr. Yao in Houston and he gives the orders. It is working out pretty good. I'm not disappointed at all. When I was on Houston in July, I had a scan and it seems that the cancer is not growing at this time and my liver function is improving.

I also had a port put in so doing my chemo or infusions would be easier. My veins have just given out. Dr. Yao did not want me to do it but said we would talk about it, but I had do to something. It was my executive decision to do this. They are my veins and I can take a lot of pain, but getting a vein to work was so painful. Unfortunately, my veins are crooked, small, and like to roll.

Last week I had to go in for a in infustion of Magnesium. It was very low and it was a three hour ordeal.

Last time I had chemo was at the end of July and my Dad took me for two days. It wears everyone out. There's nothing to do but wait for hours. He went for a walk and someone asked him if they could help him find his car!!! He stayed for about a week then my Mom came. I'm very fortunate that they are able to help me. They run circles around me.

I had to get a new washer and dryer!!! Gary actually went by himself and bought them. I'm not real picky when it comes to a washer/dryer and they get delivered Tuesday PM. I'm very excited, but not about how expensive they are.

The next time I have chemo is Aug. 16-18 then I go to Houston Aug. 31-Sept. 2 for scans and follow ups.

Since I have chemo every three weeks and never know how I am going to feel, I have had to take Disability Retirement. I never dreamed after 12 years that I would be retiring. But I'm kind of excited. I always get the kids who are behavior challenged and I won't have to deal with that any more. Yea!!!!

Thank you for your sweet cards, visits, food, and prayers.

Susan

Big Week at MDA

It is Sunday and we are getting ready to go to MDA on Monday. We are cleaning house and have been washing clothes, so when we get back everything will be clean. My mom has been here, so she is a great motivator. I get a blood workup then that evening I'm getting a CT Scan on my abdomen. Then, I see Dr. Yao on Tuesday at 1:30 for him to give me my results from the tests. Our wish and hope is that the tumors are shrinking. I'll take any little bit of good news that I can get.

We are still staying at the Rotary House that is connected to everything that I go to, so we are not waiting on shuttles and sometimes it is so late when I get through with chemo the shuttles are not running. It is very convenient to stay where we are. Last time it was when the hurricane came through and I was so glad we stayed there. People were complaining that they didn't have their umbrella with them and I was just thanking my lucky stars I didn't have to get out in the rain. I'm always concerned about my immune system, especially after chemo. I can't get sick!!

I want to thank everyone for the phone calls, cards, sweet thoughts and prayers sent my way. Prayer is what is going to save me.

Have a good week everyone!!
Susan

Getting ready for Houston

Hi Everyone,
I am getting ready to go to Houston again. We leave next Monday and I want to feel better organized this time. I left half of my makeup in Marble Falls and that just seemed to set things in motion.

Thank you all for your prayers on Facebook. Someone said I needed to have a sense of humor that it really helps. If you could see me without my hair and just my little cap, you really need a sense of humor. It is pretty funny.

Monday I have my blood testing and my CT scans of my abdomen. Please pray that everything is shrinking and that I get a good report. I've been having problems with my stomach and I hope it's not my liver. I'm probably just very anxious about my trip to Houston.

Thank you for your prayers and cards. They mean so much to me.

Susan

2nd time to MDA

Before I went to MDA the second time, I got very sick with fever and we didn't know where it came from. I just know I didn't feel well at all.

Dr. Yao said my liver function was improving, so he thinks the chemo is working. I really hope so. I feel so much better this time after chemo than I did the first time. I have so much more energy and I am not near as weak. My chemo is still 8 hours long for three days which is long, but I sleep most of the time.

Next time I go, we take blood work, then we take CT scans of my abdomen. My prayers are that the tumors are shrinking. After I talk to Dr. Yao, I take my treatments. I asked him how long my treatments would be and he said we would evaluate every two months. He is all business!!!! As his PA's say, he is all cancer doctor.

We are staying at the Rotary HOuse which has a skyway and is connected to everywhere I need to go. Even when I shut a building down, I just go to my room, and if the gold carts are running, then Travis pushes me in a wheel chair.

I don't know if I told everyone, but I did try to save my hair, but the girl who cuts it tried to save it short, but it kept coming out. It is as short as you can get. When I was in Houston, I bought some cute little hats that color coordinate with my clothes. Sometimes, I'm self conscience, but this is real life and I can't worry about everything. A friend gave me a small cross before I went to MDA and I'm all about prayer. It is called a Clinging Cross and it fits into your hand. It is the coolest thing. I know I don't have to use it to pray, but it seems to make me stronger.

I am very fortunate that both of my kids, Jennifer and Travis went to MDA with me this time. I didn't want Gary to miss work. My kids are super supportive and are very positive. Right now the plan is to go to MDA every three weeks to get my chemo.

I will refer people back to my blog on FB. Thanks for reading.

Susan Hall

MDAnderson

Friends,
I apologize for the delay in the blog. Gary, Travis and I went to Houston on Monday, May 31 to be ready for the next day to see my new doctor. His name is Dr. Yao. He has a team of Physicians Assistants who are wonderful. His head PA is Jeanette and calls me frequently to check on me now that I am home.

The first day I went through another round of testing. The new CT Scan shows that the cancer in my liver has grown since April, so this is an agressive cancer which he will treat aggressively.

When I had another consultation on Thursday, he wanted to start Chemo that day, which I was ready to do what this doctor suggested. He is treating my pancreas and liver, which my Austin oncologist was treating only the pancreas. So, my chemo consists of 8 to 10 hours for 3 days. It gets pretty old but I'm doing what it takes to save my life. There were a couple of nights that we closed down the building because my treatments take so long.

The chemo makes you very tired and I've been sleeping especially right after the chemo. I'm beginning to be myself since I've been home.

My parents came this weekend and my mom will stay here with me in MF for awhile. My dad went back to Odessa this AM so this will give him a break also.

My hair is beginning to thin, so if you don't see me for awhile, you may see me with a turbane. It will be cooler this summer without hair. I always sweat so much but especially my hair.

I will try my best to keep this going for everyone. I don't want to lose you so please be patient.

Thanks.

Susan Hall

Chemo

I had my first round of chemo therapy today. I will do 8 hours a day for three days in a row every 3 weeks. Jennifer is coming tomorrow.

Exhausted

Yesterday I was having tests run for 12 hours. We did not leave until after 9:00. I have slept most of the day today. I really like Dr. Yao. He is very straight forward. He wants to start chemo ASAP. There is still a discrepency in test resuts and lab work. I go back in at 8:30 tomorrow to go over the new test results from Tuesday. I have my list of questions ready.

MD Anderson continued

We made it to Houston. There was alot of traffic. I go in at 9:00 in the morning to start my tests. It's going to be a long day!

MD Anderson

Hi everyone! This is Susan's daughter, Jennifer. Her computer is broken so she has asked me to blog for her. She says, "I had all intentions of working next week, but Md Anderson has called me and wants to see me! Gary, Travis and I are leaving Monday and checking in Tuesday. I have been told to expect to be there 3 to 5 days. I am seeing a very well known doctor, James Yao, who has a wonderful reputation in the gastrointestinal division. There is a discrepency with the Austin pathologist and their pathologist as to where the cancer originated. On the first day I have a full day of testing, most of which I have already done. I am really looking forward to doing it a second time! ; ) "
Susan will be calling me to update her blog while she is there. We will keep you posted!

I guess you have figured out by now that if I don't write in my blog, that I'm not feeling good. I've been sick since May 13 but am beginning to feel better now. My doctor wanted to wean me off of my steroids, but I just can't do it. I get sick and run down and just not human. So I'm on half of a steriod and am beginning to feel better. I am also extremely weak, but I think that is my blood sugar and I go to a class on Monday with my new little meter and an education class on what to eat and not eat. Hopefully this will help. So, my calendar is already filling up. I still can't drive by myself so Travis or Gary take me. Thank goodness that I have a family who takes care of me. Jennifer will help during the summer when she is not teaching.

My treatments are going to be paid for now. Gary called our BCBS rep and she gave him a number for my doctor to give the prescription to. They are shipping it to me, so after another education class at the doctors I should be starting my treatments. MDAnderson did call me today and if everyone did their job I might already be there. I know they ordered the biopsy to be sent to them but something delayed them.

We are still getting bids on our AC unit, so we are getting closer.

Thursday I do not go anywhere but I go to my oncologist on Friday. I will let you know what she says.

See you all later.
Susan